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时间:2019-05-20 14:23:28  来源:  作者:
      高质量的陪伴,是让孩子既能够体会到温情,又能获得自主的学习机会

  早上7点半,在哈尔滨熙熙攘攘的人流中,有个11岁的盲童,扎着马尾,手持盲杖,一路敲敲打打小心探路。不远处,妈妈默默陪伴在她身旁。走到路口,妈妈会挡住要转向的车辆,可有人想把路上的自行车挪开时,妈妈却赶紧用手示意“不用”,让孩子自己摸索。有时,女儿碰到障碍找不到路,在原地打转,只隔着三四米的妈妈始终没有出现,“狠心”地看着女儿在磕磕绊绊中辨别方向。终于,孩子走出来了。

  不远离,也不靠近,这位一直“隐身”的母亲,小心翼翼地保持着与女儿的距离,既准备着挡住危险,又不轻易伸手让孩子产生依赖。没有放任不管,也没有包管一切,在亲子陪伴这堂人生重要的课程里,隐身妈妈的办法值得家长们深思。

  不做缺席的父母。陪伴对孩子的成长很重要。爸爸讲着故事哄入睡,妈妈唱着儿歌教认字,高质量的亲子陪伴会使孩子觉得幸福,觉得自己是被接纳的、有价值的。反之,孩子会觉得是不被重视的。

  有孩子写作文说:“我家的植物和我一样一身的病,叶子上有黄斑、缺损,颜色难看。原因是我妈忙起来就忘浇水……后来我发现,我的命运和植物是一样的,她一忙起来,我就被放置、被忽视、被敷衍。”有的父母拿工作忙、压力大当借口,在孩子的成长中躲懒,把孩子甩给老人、丢在补习班。这不好。父母要充分认识到自己对孩子成长担负的责任,全心全意投入爱。

  不当包办的爸妈。良好的亲子关系不是让孩子依赖自己而是信赖自己。有一句话说得好,父母应该站在孩子背后。试着让开前路,给孩子尝试的机会和选择的权利,不怕遭遇挫折和困难,可以帮孩子一起去总结经验教训,探讨下一次面对相同情况,怎样做更有效、更省力。这样既能让孩子学到技巧,又能锻炼承受力。

  一味大包大揽,就可能会把孩子的人生收窄成一个格局规整的储物架,放进去就拿不出,久而久之孩子会丧失自主选择的能力甚至意识,要么落得难以自立,要么变得灵气不足。

  高质量的陪伴,是让孩子既能够体会到温情,又能获得自主的学习机会。隐身妈妈做到了,您呢?(商旸) 来源: 人民日报

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